Stay Positive ~ Sidestep Negative Energy & Maybe Take A Break

By Marc William White USN-RET

06-27-22 Williamson County TN 7:10 AM CST USA

How many hours a week do you spend online? Now, consider the same amount of time and how much “content” you actually create, instead of reading, watching, and or listening to. Your story is important, to the world, the whole entire big wide world, question is, will you tell and share that story, or sit on the sidelines of life listening to other people? Another good question would be, when was the last time you were around a negative person, or someone said something hateful, mean, cold, inappropriate, rude, demeaning, or condescending to you? Did you confront them, were you nice or mean back to them, or did you walk away and not say anything?

Love beats hate, or maybe better stated, love wins over hate, every single time, always, without exception, love wins, I relearn this over and over again, each and every day I am alive. Sometimes, it can take a while before we really get to know people, we will need to interact with them a lot, for weeks, perhaps months, or possibly years before we start seeing the inner core of their personality, what their soul is all about, if they are dark or full of light. Truthfully, time has a way of mellowing most human beings out, they become more loving, but if things go wrong, they slowly sink into the painful, lost, abyss of hate, I have seen it more then I care to talk about, sadly.

I have / had a friend named Chris Adams, he is / was a pastor in the United States Navy, we met in Newport Rhode Island in November of 2020. Chaplain Adams worked at The Chapel of Hope, he was sort of obligated to speak with me when I called one day, eventually we started doing some work together which entailed my own past, childhood, and present relationships with people. One day, about a month ago now, we were speaking on the phone, I was listening to him speak and share, then said “I need to go”, he said “OK”, and we hung up. We have not spoke since then, I sent some text messages, he responded once, I then sent some more text messages.

Looking back, in reflecting, on the interactions which lead up to our parting of the ways, between Chaplain Adams and myself, I have been trying to analyze why. What was it, or is it, about our personalities which maybe didn’t mesh up so well? I am certainly guilty of being unkind, mean, hateful, rude, childish, and cruel with my text messages in the end, but of more importance to me is trying to prevent myself from the same actions with anyone else in the future. I could blame him, but what good what that do? Not much! None! I think it was probably that I felt as if he didn’t really want to be my friend, maybe that I was or would be abandoned by him eventually.

I am only using this one instance / interaction / friendship, as an example, in order for me to learn, and you also, my reader to learn from it, and from my own mistakes. There was something going on with “equality” when it came to Chris and myself, and also what I felt like was lack of respect from him towards me. This respect thing is a gigantic deal for me, not just with him but with everyone I come into contact with. My wife has brought this to my attention, repeatedly, that maybe I put a little too much emphasis on how I am treated, and whether or not people are showing me enough respect, that perhaps I am too harsh, to quick to judge, expect too much.

On the phone, when I told Chaplain Adams I “had to go”, I felt as if he was being too negative about my character, way down deep, of who I really am, and how I treat others, this wasn’t the first time he had done this, in my opinion. It didn’t “feel like” kindness from him, like love, you know, being gentle and caring, sort of the way another friend of mine usually always treats me, Mike Dimmick out on California. Mike and I have been friends for about 15 years now, he has a really gentle, kind, tolerant, loving, accepting, cool, laid back, roll with it, chill, attitude and outlook on life, he treats me the same way as that, which is and always has been attractive to me, this is one of the main reasons we have been friends for so long.

More simply put, I feel and believe and think, Mike never really runs me down a lot, or says negative hateful things about my character, and if he does by chance, he is “safe” enough to allow me to confront him, and on the other hand with Chris, I felt as if I was being run down too often, that there was too much negative energy from him about me and my entire life and lifestyle, then when I would try and confront I was told I was wrong some more. It’s not that Christ Adams is a “bad person”, not at all, he is a really great man and person, I truly mean that, but for some reason, our personalities, beliefs, approaches, thoughts, feelings, and opinions just didn’t line up so well.

Going even deeper, probably Chris Adams is more of a real natural born leader in life, and I am the same way, when Mike my other friend is more of a follower, and he allows ME to lead a lot more, but then sometimes he leads, and I follow, we actually did this on the phone yesterday. Mike told me I was wrong about something, he was right on most of the points he was making, and one of the things I love about his personality is that he avoids a lot of “black and white thinking”, that all or nothing attitude all of us can get entrenched in sometimes. Mike has actually told me, “Marc, you are one of the best friends I have ever had”, which was a true compliment and I really appreciate it!!

Let’s do a totally random Holy Bible King James Version verse right now, and see what it says, from Daily Verses Dot Net, and I quote, “Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding.” Proverbs 3:13 . What is wisdom? The Holy Bible says true wisdom starts with FEAR of the Lord, but this isn’t the same fear as what Satan uses against us, the fear Jesus speaks about and or God teaches us about has to do with love. In God’s perfect Kingdom there is no hate, no malice, no anger, no depression, no darkness, no evil, no death, no pain, only perfect spotless love, happiness, and joy, and Father God Abba Yahweh only wants you and I to fear missing out on that!!

Satan, that old devil, Lucifer, he is the father of all lies, and when we lie, we are falling into a trap, still, we do it, at times we all do it, or have, none of us are perfect, this is WHY God sent a light into this world, to split the darkness, to shine, a guiding light, the way, to life, and His precious name is Jesus Christ. 🙂 So, who is the “winner”, Chris Adams or Marc White??? Well, haha, he won of course, because during our last interaction, he held his tongue and didn’t go full ghetto as I did, sort of, but the thing is, life is not a competition, it’s not a zero sum game. Chris did a great job in reflecting the character of Jesus Christ, and maybe he “dusted his feet off”, and moved on to the next town, house, or person he felt like he could help.

Let’s not think in “extremes” please, this is what this post is really all about, see. See??? I hope you can see, and see now! Chris is 16 years younger than I am, now that I am 56, I can know, feel, and realize, I really don’t know a lot in the grand picture of life, but I have some experience to share. My story is my own, yours is your story, share it with people online, and HELP them, because this is the work of Jesus Christ and smart people, to assist others and help out in slowing down or ending their suffering, pain, and heartache. The moment someone lashes out, this is the point where we can rise or fall, and kindness, love, tolerance, and listening will always beat anger, hate, and a loud voice.

Power? You want fame and fortune? Influence? Control? To dictate what others say and do? It’s been said, “nobody likes a dictator but everyone loves a leader”, and a good leader is a lover, a loving person, a forgiving human being, someone who wipes the slate clean each morning and night, and says, “I messed up, I apologize, I was wrong, please forgive me, I was acting stupid” or “I forgive you, I accept your apology, you are worthy, you are a human soul, you are not totally flawed”. Happiness is very elusive, I suggest you just BE happy, instead of TRYING to be happy, it helps to stop and realize we are all suffering together in this world. Start with a kind act, and go from there.

Stay positive!!! If you we are not strong enough to do that, then learn to side step hate, anger, frustration, mean looks, and negative energy, smile then walk away, and be a winner in life!! 🙂 Love beats hate! Kindness beats selfishness!! Calm beats aggression! Giving beats taking too much and being grossly unfair! Learn to take breaks, from your daily routine, from the job, from being an employee sometimes, from your spouse or girlfriend, from your family and from possible lack of healthy boundaries, from complaining, from blaming, from, me me me, from I I I, from mine mine mine, and from the dreaded scarcity mentality. Don’t always “have to get even”, it’s a dead end road.

Start your own team, it includes: you, Jesus Christ, Father God, the Holy Spirit, kindness, happiness, deep true joy, satisfaction, gratitude, understanding, acceptance, giving, and forgiveness. Next, branch out from there, we always attract more help and more people and more traction with sugar and not poo poo, hahaha. I hope you have a great day, no matter what, even if we are old and frail or young and energized, tall and thin or short and fat, broke and no money or wealthy and with plenty extra, have a really nice day, control your day, and make it work for you, put Jesus Christ at the center, and He will never ever let you down! Be a strong man of Christ, one who people humbly admire, with meekness, and love. Thank you for being here, please leave a comment, and join our R.E. White Consulting community on our websites and social media!

Marc William White USN-RET MCP CEO MOG0

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